The end of the trip has come, but not the end of our journey. Yesterday we exchanged vows in an intimate ceremony in Muir Woods. That marks the end of the "Changing Gears" trip, at least nominally. But it also marks a new chapter for us in our lives and a transition to a new life as we make our roundabout way home to Bloomington.

Our vow exchange party:

Our vows reflected our worldview, our views on our relationship, and our commitment to each other. It's amazing that we have come so far in so little time, both in terms of geography and in our relationship. This trip has challenged us in many ways, and in a significant way made our bond so much stronger. We've had to work out problems with money, sex, priorities, and our future plans all throughout this trip, and successfully confronting all of them has tightened our bond.

The site of our vow exchange:


But without further ado, here are our vows, very nearly as we read them. We led off with some quotes, then went into the vows.

Melissa:

It's not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes an unhappy marriage.
Friedrich Nietzche

Andy:

When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you
believe that you will be able to converse well with
this person into your old age? Everything else in
marriage is transitory.
Friedrich Nietzsche

Melissa:

A good marriage is one which allows for change and growth in the individuals and dina way they express your love.
Pearl S Buck

Andy:

What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how
compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility.
Leo Tolstoy

Melissa:

Being married is like having somebody permanently in your corner,
it feels limitless, not limited.
Gloria Steinem

Andy:

It's you I like,
It's not the things you wear.
It's not the way you do your hair,
But it's you I like.
The way you are right now
The way down deep inside you
Not the things that hide you
Not your diplomas...
They're just beside you.
But it's you I like,
Every part of you,
Your skin, your eyes, your feelings,
Whether old or new.
I hope that you'll remember
Even when you're feeling blue,
That it's you I like,
It's you yourself, it's you
It's you I like!
Mr Rogers

Together:

In the beauty of Muir Woods, with friends as our witness , we gather today to celebrate the creation of our union. We announce our deep and sincere belief in peaceful and nonviolence practice. We agree from this day forward to work for all forms of justice: environmental, social, political, racial, gender and economic, following from our worldview that includes a radical analysis of power, seeing all systems of oppression as interrelated, rooted in structures of domination and control. We will work to create and sustain communities and cultures that embody our values, that can help to heal the wounds of the earth and her peoples, and that can sustain us and nurture future generations.

We understand that just as we are a mystery to ourselves, each person is also a mystery to us, and we pledge to seek to understand ourselves, each other, and all living beings, and will examine our own minds continually and to regard all the mysteries of life with openness and joy.

We vow in our married life together to continually break
through our pre-conceived views of each other and see clearly.

We vow to let go of feelings that arise from selfish
desires, attachments, and fears, so that we can open our hearts
to one another.

We vow to be compassionate with one another and with
all beings.

We vow to refrain from speaking harshly or deceptively
to each other or about one another to others.

We vow to practice peaceful and ethical occupations
and to support each other in our work.

We vow to support one another in creating a
compassionate and loving home.

We vow to continually ask each others thoughts and feelings and be present in the moment.

We vow to work at finding balance with our individual lives and as a committed couple

We vow to trust each other and trust in the relationship

We vow to commit to being active in each others lives, discovering, exploring, and taking action together as a couple

This is our lifelong commitment to each other, ourselves, to the world.

Melissa:

After a reaffirming year being with you on this trip, I will walk, ride, fly, sit, whatever needs to be done to be with you on this new journey by your side, as your friend, equal, lover, with an open heart and open mind, and I will honor honesty and truth, and work hard at not deceiving myself and you.

I am committed to you and the growth of our relationship, supporting and encouraging us to reach our highest potential through the many changes of life.

I realize that this commitment will have its challenges, and I promise to work with you through those times.

I love you Andy, and am appreciative of who you are and promise to trust in our lifelong relationship.

Andy:

On our adventure together, we will face joy and sorrow, hardship and plenty, pleasure and pain.

Through it all, I promise to always keep my mind and heart open to yours. I promise to be faithful to you and supportive of you in all your endeavors. Above all, I promise to love and cherish you through all of life's journey.

To confront the opportunities and challenges the world will bring us, I wholeheartedly take you, Melissa Henige as my partner and companion to the end.

Thank you to everyone who has helped make this journey possible.



-Andy and Melissa